Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai - This is Life.
(To read the original Marathi article Click Here)
Why do we wait till bonds grow feeble and fragile before reaching out…?
T2 terminal at Mumbai international airport, I had woken up early to catch the 7am flight. As it was a barely 24 hour trip in all, I did not have much luggage. Having completed all the airport formalities well ahead of the flight time I walked towards my gate. The T2 terminal is really beautiful. Neat little shops sparkling everywhere! Walking through the sparkle I reached my favourite cafe. "Why is the entire airport decorated so beautifully? Just like me, everyone must have some anxiety about flying within, and is all this exhibition arranged to allay that anxiety?" My coffee arrived at my table and I collected my mindless thoughts. Morning coffee is tonic for my mind! Savoring every sip slowly I routinely immerse myself in my own thoughts.
I was going to visit a friend of mine. We've been close friends for many years, but the last one year had been rough. A few little issues had caused some tension which had kept escalating slowly through the year. Once upon a time my friend meant the world to me but today the distance between us had increased so much that I was worried if our friendship would last. Two friends who shared every little detail of our lives were now holding the burden of a long silence. "Can bonds once so strong, really break permanently? Can people so deeply involved in our lives just leave forever? And should we let them leave that easily?" A storm of many such questions had been making me restless for the last few days. To meet my friend in person, to talk to him face-to-face and clear the air, to bring back on track a once-in-a-lifetime precious friendship, were the thoughts and purpose behind the journey to meet him for which my flight would depart in a few hours. The town where my friend lives is abound with natural beauty. At the time when our friendship was in full bloom he had invited me to visit him several times. However, the preoccupations with work had never let that plan materialize. Now, finally when I was going, the whole situation was different. As I finished my coffee, I imagined how nice it would have been if I had taken this trip when everything between us was good? How delightful it would have been? So many memories would have been sowed forever! I put my cup down and walked towards the flight gate.
Whenever I think of friendship I am reminded of the movie 'Dil Chahta Hai' (and 'Zindagi na Milegi Dobara' too.) 'Dil Chahta Hai' is a story of Samir, Siddharth, and Akash, three close friends. A heartfelt painting, a budding romance, a plan for a trip, or everyday happenings - everything was shared between these three bosom buddies. Knowingly and unknowingly creating a treasure trove of memories as their friendship moved along. The first half of the movie will never fail to remind you of your closest friends. And then Sidhharth's unconventional love story, the resultant quarrel with Akash and finally 'one slap!' The fracture of the friendship and progressively increasing distance. The three of them immerse themselves in their lives hoping to leave it all behind, except it leaves a restlessness in their minds and the constant nagging reminders of life. They meet again after many years. Sidhharth's girlfriend is on her deathbed, a mountain of sorrow facing him, he is reminded of his closest friends and he calls them. Both his friends forget the past and rush to his side and their friendship gets back to their old ways. “Siddharth called his friends when he was facing insurmountable grief, what if he had called his friends earlier? If it hadn't been for the sad circumstances would the three have come together?” By this time I had boarded my flight and my flight took off in a few minutes.
Once the flight reached cruising altitude, I closed my eyes, lost in thought. The series of events from nearly four and half years ago flashed across my eyes. My wife (actually my closest friend) had a swelling on her forehead since birth. Because this swelling had started growing in the last few months, surgery was recommended and it went smoothly. The excised tumour was sent for further testing. About one week later the pathology lab called. The tumour had the possibility of some cancerous cells and they recommended sending the tissue sample to a larger lab for confirmation. It felt like the sky had fallen down on me. I was left with the predicament of giving her comfort and strength while wiping my own tears. That night I sat by her, held her hand and said, "Let's withdraw all the savings from our retirement account and go on a trip to see the world like you've always wanted to, right away. "Fortunately the results came back negative for cancer and we breathed a sigh of relief. We celebrated with a big party and I became busy in my daily routine from the next day. Today while I sat thinking, with my eyes closed, on the airplane I remembered that plan for the world trip. I had completely forgotten it as soon as the report came back negative for cancer. How could I forget that plan when everything was going well? The unease of this thought broke my chain of thoughts and I opened my eyes. The captain had made the landing announcements and the airplane landed within a few minutes.
As soon as we landed I turned my phone on and texted my friend that I had arrived. I picked up my bag and exited the airport and there stood my friend with a smiling face to welcome me. We hugged instinctively. He was thrilled to see me in his town. We got into his car and promptly proceeded to lunch at a restaurant he knew I would like. He had already reserved a table for us there. He had carefully planned my little trip with a lot of thought. He had planned for all the things that I would like with minute detail. Looking at all that I felt like we had had no quarrel at all. Our friendship was so strong that all ill-feeling had ended with that one hug. The only regret I had was that I had delayed that hug, delayed reaching out to my friend for so long. There was no reason to wait till things got to the edge of the precipice.
But every time we wait till things get to the edge and spend a lot of life's good times in anguish. To do something good we unnecessarily wait till things get bad! Have you lost touch with a friend similarly? If so, don't waste time and call them today because 'Zindagi na Milegi Dobara' (You do not get this life again!)
~ Translated by Masala Chai.